On the Never Underestimate An Old Man Whith A His Truck Shirt and I will buy this open road, on a clear and beautiful summer day, it was almost possible to forget about the pandemic; whether that was a good thing or not, I wasn’t sure, but for the moment, I pushed my hesitations away. This seemed easy enough to do as, two neat hours after departing Brooklyn, I approached Shou Sugi Ban House’s impeccably pebbled entrance lot, beautifully landscaped with cryptomeria and London plane trees, and punctuated by a large stone Buddha and three black Teslas, presumably ready to ferry guests to their private aircrafts at the East Hampton Airport. As I approached the entrance, I was welcomed by mask-clad, whites-wearing employees in a nifty golf cart, who were set to guide me to my room, directly after taking my temperature with a non-contact assessment thermometer and clamping my pointer finger into a pulse oximeter.
“When you close your eyes, imagine that everything that’s outside the Never Underestimate An Old Man Whith A His Truck Shirt and I will buy this wood gates, you’ve left behind. All the things you need to concentrate on are here,” an esthetician named Nicole told me, sotto voce, while she readied me for one of Shou Sugi Ban’s Earth & Sea Body Wraps. As I lay on an infrared heated mat, she scrubbed my naked body with a dry brush before slathering it with a firming mixture of rhassoul clay, hibiscus powder, and rose-hip-seed oil. As I perspired profusely, allegedly releasing toxins from my taxed system while wrapped mummy-style in a sheet, my face mask securely on, I felt as snug and close as a large peanut in its shell.